


damn your love, damn your lies

by Lapin



Series: chain (keep us together) [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 14:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11083209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapin/pseuds/Lapin
Summary: It takes a week for them to find the kid an implant.Takes just a week.





	damn your love, damn your lies

**Author's Note:**

> Damn it Marvel, I don't go to your movies to feel my emotions getting attacked.

Takes a week for them to find an implant to get in the kid's brain. 

It never even occurred to Yondu that Terra was that much of a fucking backwater that the kids wouldn't have implants, but when the kid just kept kicking and screaming and not making no sense no matter what anyone tried to say, he worked it out quick. Kraglin had ended up with the kid pinned to keep him from biting anyone else, and get him to calm the hell down. Kid looked real small once he was still and had stopped screaming. 

The others had been real small too. They'd been real small, and Yondu didn't think much about it then. They were just cargo, and he was just delivering them to their father. 

Kid now is staring at him, still shaking, all red in the face and snotty. He ain't gonna understand nothing Yondu says to him, Yondu's figured that out by now. Kraglin puts the kid down for him, so Yondu can grab the kid by the arms, trying not to be too rough with him, but making sure the kid knows he needs to pay attention. Kid keeps staring at him, sniffling. 

“He bit me, Captain,” Kraglin says, looking at his arm. Idiot is bleeding everywhere, like the ship ain't dirty enough. “Terrans ain't got venom or nothing, right?”

“Don't rightly know.” Tullk leans over and looks at it. “He's a baby brawler, ain't he? Think you might need some stitches there, lad.” 

Crew's laughing, shoving at Kraglin, until Kraglin shoves back. 

Yondu's too old for their shit, and the kid is still crying. Yondu don't much like the guilt that won't leave him be when he looks at this kid crying like that. 

“C'mere.” He lets the kid's arms go, and picks the kid up instead. The kid goes along with it, wrapping himself around Yondu,and hiding his face in Yondu's shoulder. He's a whole mess of sharp elbows and knees and he keeps fucking crying, but he don't fight Yondu carrying him off from the crew, up to his own quarters.

He sits the kid on the couch in his quarters, and crouches down in front of him. Kid is at least a little less red-faced and snotty, and he's looking right at Yondu. He don't think the kid can't hear at all, because he keeps turning at every sound. But Yondu tilts his head one way, then the other, and there's no sign of an implant. He can hear just fine, he just can't understand. Shit. Fucking _shit_. 

Kid lets him do it, but he just keeps looking at Yondu with those fucking eyes, and Yondu ain't ever going to tell him, but one of the kid's brothers had the same eyes. And Yondu delivered him to Ego, like he was paid to. Only that itch had been scratching Yondu something fierce by the time he dropped him off, and right before he picked up this kid, he'd asked Ego if he could see that boy. His name had been something way too many syllables long, but he'd told Yondu that people called him Bo. 

He'd dropped Bo off, and then Ego asked Yondu to go pick this kid up too, and Yondu, he ain't ever claimed to be some sort of genius, but he ain't stupid either. So he'd asked after Bo, because that itch wasn't letting up. Ego had fed him some line about Bo being real happy with his siblings, off playing somewhere else on the planet, but something wasn't sitting right.

So he'd asked, “And Luoa? His sister?”

“Bright as a star,” Ego had said, cheerfully.

Luoa was the girl in the cage next to Yondu. She'd been dead before Yondu was tall enough to hold a spear. Yondu knew that for a fact, 'cause he'd been the one to smash her skull in with a rock. First person he ever killed, Luoa. And he don't got no doubts Ego is older than Yondu can understand, probably got kids of all shapes and sizes and names, but Yondu only dropped off three before this kid, and none of them were named Luoa.

Ego told him to get this kid, and he wanted to say no, he thinks he should have walked away. But the kid is looking at him with those big eyes, and Yondu knows deep down in his bones that Ego would have just found someone else to pick this kid up, and do what he did to the others. What he did to Bo. The others, they didn't have no one in the whole universe to keep them safe.

This kid ain't much better off, but he's here, and not with Ego. It's something.

“You're gonna be alright, boy,” he says, like it even matters. “Ain't no one here gonna eat you.” 

Takes just a week, but by then, the kid is stuck to Yondu like he's on a leash, never more than three steps behind Yondu unless Yondu sits him down and makes him understand to stay put elsewhere. It's easier to leave the kid in his own quarters when it comes down to that. The kid understands when Yondu points to the couch now, and says, “Sit, boy,” even though he knows the kid is just hearing gibberish. And Yondu can lock his quarters up, just to make sure the kid stays put. Keeps the rest of the crew out too. Yondu don't like the idea of the kid not being able to hold his own. It's not a fair fight if the kid don't understand nothing.

Kid likes sitting with Yondu when he's on the flight deck, in any case, likes looking out at the stars, watching the screens while they navigate. Yondu lets him push some buttons, fiddle with stuff. Kid don't know what none of it is doing, and the crew don't much like it when the kid is underfoot, but he ain't hurting nothing, most of the time, and it keeps him occupied. Kid don't talk much at least, but it wouldn't matter if he did. Without an implant to get a read on his language and upload into the network, Yondu and the rest of them understand the kid about as good as he understands them. 

Yondu keeps waiting for Ego to try and make contact. 

He don't.

Echo finds them a clinic on a moon that ain't inclined to ask too many questions for enough credits, and somehow Yondu gets the kid to understand they're leaving the ship. Kraglin keeps to Yondu's side, a rifle on his back. But the kid starts lagging quick, and looking a bit green. 

“Kid ain't adjusted, yet,” Kraglin complains, trying to hurry the kid up, but the kid's barely keeping his feet under him. “He ain't gonna make it there.”

Yondu bends down and hoists the kid up, the kid holding on tight. “Don't recall you doing too well on that first job, yourself.”

“No one carried me until after I puked, though,” Kraglin grumbles. “You sure this kid is gonna be good for something, Captain?” 

“We'll make him good for something.” Kid don't weigh too much, so it ain't like it's too much trouble, and Yondu don't need his hands to kill a body. 'Sides, Yondu don't like the look of the crowds in this city. Kid would get lost too easy, especially since he can't talk to no one or read nothing. 

Kid don't like the place much either. He looks at everyone like he expects them to gut him in a second. Not a bad habit, but Yondu don't like thinking about how he came by it. The bruising on the kid's face has gone down since they picked him up, but either Terrans are real delicate, or someone worked the kid over good before they picked him up.

Yondu ain't sure what to make of the way the kid's got a grip on his jacket, either. Kid should still be shaking over Yondu, but he ain't. He trusts Yondu, maybe the last person in this whole damn galaxy he should trust. None of the others had trusted Yondu one inch, and he hadn't blamed them. 

There's a tech in the clinic who takes one look at them, and just waves them to the front of the line, but a Ravager coat and a big gun tend to demand quick service. He tells Kraglin to watch the lobby, just in case, and carries the kid into the back. Place looks about ten years behind in tech, but it's clean. Kid must at least know what a clinic looks like, because he lets Yondu set him down on the table without kicking up a fuss. 

“Does he understand anything?” The nurse is all smiling and sweet, but the kid's face don't move a muscle looking at her. “Anything, honey?” 

Kid might not understand her, but sure as hell knows when someone is talking down to him, and he don't like it none. Kid glares at her even harder, his nose scrunching up. 

Yondu puts a hand on the back of the kid's neck, and gets the kid to look at him before she gets bent out of shape. “This,” he points at the implant she's prepping, “this'll help you hear,” he touches the kid's ear, “me,” and he points to his own mouth. “You got me, boy?” 

The kid flicks his eyes over to the nurse, then back at Yondu, and nods. 

“Good. Now sit still.” He pushes on the kid's shoulders, so he gets the gist, and lies down so the nurse can get him set up.

The nurse puts a needle up the kid's arm, something to make him drowsy, and dull the pain. He goes quiet quick, but he still fusses and reaches out if Yondu tries to move away though, so Yondu stays put in the chair. Won't do to get the kid cut up in his brain the wrong way, not after all this trouble Yondu's gone through over his skinny ass. 

Doc gets to work quick, looking at the scan of the kid's brain, then cutting right in with the tool. The kid's knocked out good by then. Probably for the best. Implant ain't exactly a pleasant experience. 

Yondu still sits in sight, just in case. 

“Is his other parent a Xandarian?” 

Takes Yondu a second to work out the nurse is talking to him. 

“What'd you say?”

She taps something on the screen monitoring the kid's vitals. “Is his other parent a Xandarian? He's got the look of one.” She slides the screen over. “I know some of the lunar colonies don't really hold with getting the children implants when they're little. Seems a little insular to me.” 

“His mama was Terran.” Yondu's worked out just what it is she thinks she knows, but he can't think of a better story, and even on this moon, they'll call the Nova Corps in a second if they get suspicious about a kid. Better to just go with it. 

She laughs. “Damn, but you Ravagers do manage to end up everywhere and anywhere, don't you?” Everything on the screen looks alright to Yondu, not that he knows shit. But no one's panicking, so that must mean something. “Your boy's doing fine. The doctor's almost done.” 

Kid just has this bad habit of looking awful small. Yondu ain't really ever been around kids for too long. He don't know much about them, and he sure don't know nothing about Terrans. He don't got no idea what the fuck he thinks he's doing with any of this shit. Every smart thought in his damn head is telling him to find someone in some port to drop the kid with, get him off the damn ship and out of the way, get him off Yondu's mind.

But every smart thought is railing against his _instinct_. Instinct is telling him he needs to keep this kid moving, needs to keep this kid where no one can get to him easy. And ain't no one getting through a ship full of Ravagers real easy, and ain't no one, not even Ego, getting past Yondu without a fucking fight. And there's hundreds of Ravager ships. Ego ain't the kind to stoop down to remembering one Ravager ship out of all the rest. 

Probably ain't nowhere safe in the whole damn galaxy for this kid. So maybe it's best the kid ain't anywhere, not for long at least. 

Or maybe Yondu's just talking himself in circles, and doing something damn stupid that ain't gonna save no one in the end. 

“Seen some Terrans before.” Doctor is talking while they're clicking something in place in the kid's skull. “Everyone always finds their way everywhere, in the end. Never seen a Centaurian-Terran mix before though. Do you mind if I take a few samples?”

Even if they weren't making the kid sound like some lab rat, ain't nothing good gonna come of that. Yondu ain't all that sure just what the hell Ego is, but it sure as hell ain't Centaurian, and whatever test this doctor runs ain't gonna do nothing but leave a trail that Ego might pick up.

So Yondu whistles. “I ain't never met none of your sort either.” The arrow hovers over the doctor's ear, but Yondu catches how it's listening a little too close to Yondu, how it's tilting towards the throat. He whistles it back into his hand, before it shows him what he's really willing to do over this damn kid. 

He puts it back in the jacket, and the doc don't ask again, just shuts up and takes the money.

Kid's finished and cleaned up pretty quick after that, but still drugged to the gills, so he's dead weight the whole way back to the ship, his fingers tight in Yondu's jacket even while he's drooling on it, the little shit. He mumbles some nonsense halfway back, even opens his eyes, but once he sees Yondu he drops back off. 

“Probably won't be too happy about them shaving his head.” Kraglin keeps his eyes where they should be, looking around to make sure they ain't being followed. “He's even uglier now. Got more to those ears than I thought.” 

“Might want to watch that mouth.” Yondu has to heft the kid up when he starts to slide, kid making some sounds and scrambling. “Kid's gonna understand you now. Unless you're looking to get bit again?”

Half of Tullk's crew is hanging around the loading ramp, sitting around and doing fuck all from the looks of it. They've got their guns out at least, giving whatever scavengers might be sneaking around a good reason to keep fucking walking. 

Tullk jumps to his feet when he sees them. “Looks like the little shit made it through with his brain all in one piece then?” He strolls up, tries to get the kid to look at him. “Hey there, you little monster, how you feeling?” He hunches over to get in the kid's face. “Aw, the little bugger almost looks sweet when he's fucking knocked out.” The kid's don't even open his eyes, just fusses and half-tries to get inside Yondu's jacket to get the hell away from Tullk. 

It does something it shouldn't, the way this dumb fucking kid just fucking assumes Yondu is gonna keep him safe. It does something he don't know how to deal with, because the thing is, ain't no one ever trusted Yondu like that, like this kid does. Oh, sure, his crew trusts him, his old crew did too, but Yondu always knew they all always had and will have that deep-down part of them that tells them to trust no one and nothing. Yondu's got that part of him too. It's how things go, how they should be.

Ain't nothing about this kid fitting into how things should be.

“Kid bites, remember,” Kraglin says.

Tullk huffs, then turns on his heel and holds his arms up. “Oi! Kraglin's still belly-aching over the kid getting his teeth in!”

The lot of them laugh, Kraglin spitting, “Oh fuck the fucking dick that made you -”

And then they got themselves a proper brawl going, Tullk putting Kraglin in a lock before Eza grabs Kraglin's legs, and the pair of them toss him off the side of the landing dock, into the water. Horuz crouches down, laughing his ass off, but Tullk looks back at Yondu. 

“He can swim, right?” 

“Fuck if I know.” Don't look like it, Kraglin thrashing around like he ain't got no sense. “Fish him out.” Kraglin's been a good second, and he's a damn good gunman in a spot. “Come get me when Bao-bao and Echo get back with their crews, I want to know if they've got anything interesting.” 

Everyone else is out whoring and gambling, not there to see Yondu carrying the kid in. Won't do the kid no good, to be seen as weak enough to need carrying, even if he is just a damn kid. Tullk and his band won't think nothing of it, but they're from the old days. Hell, he's pretty sure most of them got brats of their own stashed away on planets like this. 

Yondu puts the kid back on the couch in his quarters, and sticks a mop bucket under him just in case the kid needs to puke. Kid ain't eaten too much since they picked him up, but Yondu don't know enough about Terrans to know if that's just how they are. 

He pulls the blanket he gave the kid up to the kid's shoulders, tucks it in so the kid don't unravel himself. Terrans seem to get cold real easy. Kid's always shivering on the ship if he don't got a jacket. 

He don't have any idea what the hell the kid needs, when it comes right down to the marrow of it.

It takes a long time before he cancels out the screen to signal Stakar. Ain't like he'd answer anyway, no matter what Yondu had to say. He'd already tried to explain, and that was back when he thought he weren't doing a damn thing wrong. He knows better now, and he can't lie to Stakar, and he can't fix what he's done either. So there ain't no point. 

'Sides, Stakar would probably just come take the kid from Yondu. He'd come take the kid, and he'd drop him back on Terra or in some home, and Ego would find the kid before he had another birthday. And it ain't like Stakar knows nothing about Terrans either, or whatever the fuck Ego is, or kids neither. 

Ain't no point in wallowing either, when it comes down to it. He's done what he's done, and he can't take it back. Only thing to do is move on, and keep moving.

He checks for any oncoming ships. Ego is whatever the fuck he is, but a ship is a ship. 

Still ain't no sign of one, and Yondu can sit back, stop thinking about it for a few more hours. 

Kid comes to while Yondu is sorting through bounties for his crew to hunt down, something to keep them out of trouble while they're waiting on another job. If the vapor from Yondu's pipe bothers the kid, he ain't shown it, so Yondu don't bother to put it down when the kid makes his way over to him. 

Kid keeps staring at him, but he usually does that anyway. 

“How you feeling?” Yondu's old enough he don't much remember getting his own implant. Most of what he remembers of those days is the whip and the cage, anyway. 

The kid jumps, and scratches at his ear. 

“Ain't nothing wrong with your ears, kid.” Yondu takes another hit of his pipe, and swipes to the next bounty. “Doc just put a little upgrade in your brain, is all.” Kid stops staring at him, at least. He's looking at the screen. He can't read it, Yondu is pretty sure, but he's still little enough it won't take him long to pick it up. 

He still don't say nothing. Kind of starting to worry Yondu. Maybe that doctor fucked the kid up. Yondu hopes not. He's not in the mood to have to go back out on the ground, and the boys won't like it if they ain't so welcome on this moon anymore because some doctor got an arrow through the throat. 

He gives the kid another minute or two though, and finally, the kid looks at him, and asks, “Are you my dad?” He looks Yondu up and down. “Mom never said my dad was blue, though.”

All the damn things the could have asked, that one sure as hell wasn't Yondu expected. 

“That's 'cause I ain't your daddy, kid.” That sort of question does tell Yondu something though. “What'd your mama tell you 'bout your daddy?” He already knows the kid's mama is dead. Ego liked to wait until there was no one to argue with the Ravagers about picking up the kids, and fuck, Yondu still don't understand how he didn't work it out faster that something wasn't _right_. 

Kid shrugs. “Said he was from space. No one believed her though, 'cause she was sick. My grandpa kept saying she was just crazy.” He scratches at the implant. The kid seems to notice he's missing a good few inches of hair now, rubbing his hand over his head, scowling. “She wasn't crazy.” Got the sound of a fight to it, the way the kid spits it.

If Yondu was a worse man than he already is, maybe he'd tell the kid what he is. Probably should. Should have done a lot of things though, starting with not buying Ego's bullshit in the first place. 

“I don't know nothing about all that, kid,” he says, making a decision. Kid's not big enough to understand, is all, and Yondu's no good at explaining anyway. “You're here because you were in the right place, and I need someone small, skinny.” It ain't all a lie, not exactly. Yondu could use someone small and skinny, and if he trains the kid up right, in a few years, kid could be dead useful. He's already got plenty of fight in him, just needs some brains to go with it.

And it's what he's told the crew, anyway. Also told them Ego wouldn't pay up, and that was technically true too. People don't tend to pay when they don't get their cargo delivered. 

Crew don't need to know that little detail though. 

Kid actually perks up a little. “Am I gonna be a space pirate? Like Han Solo?”

“What the fuck is that?” Yondu's implant isn't finding a translation for that. Might be 'cause the kid's is still new, and it's still learning, but Yondu ain't sure. They don't always read cultural shit too good. “And no, you ain't gonna be no damn space pirate. We're Ravagers.” He leans over, elbows on knees, and makes sure the kid gets a look at his teeth. “And you ain't nothing just yet. Bet you don't even know the right end of a gun.” 

“My mom doesn't like guns.”

Yondu tilts his head. “Maybe you ain't noticed just yet, kid, but your mama ain't here.” It's mean, but Yondu's mean. 

Kid don't even sniffle. He looks him in the eye. “She's not anywhere, not anymore.” 

It ain't like it's even a unique story on this one damn ship. Yondu could pick five of his crew and he bets four of them won't even remember their parents, and the one who does won't have nothing good to say. Happy childhoods don't turn people into Ravagers. So he shouldn't feel nothing like what he is, like it matters, like this stupid kid is somehow special. And sentiment ain't gonna get this kid far on this ship. Being useful will.

“C'mere kid,” he pulls the kid to him, so the kid sits beside him. He points at the mug shot on the screen. “See this ugly son-of-a-bitch here?” The kid nods. “See these letters here? They say his name is Connap, and this dumb bastard double-crossed some traders on Xandar. They didn't take too kindly to that.” The fact the bounty demands he get brought in alive, but not in any particular condition tells Yondu just how pissed off they are. They want to finish the job themselves. “See these? These are numbers. See how there's a lot of them?” Kid nods again. “Means we're going after him.” Yondu slides the screen over into the pile. He thinks he'll send Bao-bao's group after this one. He's a big sucker, but he's seen her repeating cannon take out bigger. 

Kid's got big eyes, looking at the screen. “It _is_ just like Star Wars.” 

Yondu don't like the sound of that. “We're Ravagers. We don't get tangled up in no wars.” Well, that ain't quite true. “'Less we get paid. That's different, though.” Ain't nothing wrong with an honest day's killing for more-than-honest pay. 

Kid's half in his lap now, but he keeps his elbows and knees away from Yondu's good bits, so it ain't hurting nothing to let him get a better look at the screen. “What's that one say?”

“Says this one here is big and stupid and ain't worth nothing. So I'm gonna send Kraglin after him.” Kid seems to catch on that.

“Is that the guy I bit?”

Damn if that ain't still funny, what with Kraglin still whining about it. But it ain't gonna do himself no favors if he lets the kid think he can get away with biting his crew without a reason. “Yeah, and he still ain't too happy with you about that.” He grips the kid by the scruff, not too hard but enough to make his point. “And you ever do that again without a damn good reason, I'm gonna let him eat you, you hear me?”

Kid makes a damn funny face at that, like he's really thinking about it. Good. It'll keep him on his toes around the crew. Kid don't move away though, just turns and looks at Yondu. “What's your name?”

Didn't even hit him that the kid wouldn't have understood that before now. “Yondu,” he says. “My name's Yondu Udonta, and I'm the Captain of this ship.” 

“My name's Peter Quill,” the kid says, and Yondu already knew that. He'd known that from the start. But it was easier to think of the kid without a name, because maybe even he wasn't sure he was going to keep the kid. Was really still half-thinking maybe he could find somewhere to drop the kid, maybe. Maybe. 

Boy settles back, watches Yondu sort through more screens, listens good when Yondu tells him what they say. Looks around at other stuff too, like he always is, the nosy little shit. Only now he can talk. 

“Hey.” He's leaning over, peering at the arrow sitting in its stand. “Can I see that?”

“Quill, I ever catch you so much as _thinking_ about touching that arrow, I'm gonna feed you to the crew.”


End file.
